It can be hard to be assertive in any situation. Being open about your needs can be even more difficult. I have trouble being assertive and after bringing up this issue on group I decided to write out my concerns in an email. It might be the cowardly way to do it, but at least important things are being said. I need to know that this treatment is going to help before I continue. I am tired of trying things that don't work. I need someone on my team who is willing to try something new.
here is what I wrote to my counselor:
Sometimes I have trouble speaking my mind so I thought I would try writing it down. I know we have only had two sessions together and that it takes time to improve depression and anxiety but I have been trying to do this for a long time now. I don’t seem to be getting much better. I am tired of trying to fix things using the same tools and getting the same crappy results.
Things I have tried in my efforts to decrease depression.
Antidepressants: wellbutrin, celexa, Prozac
Books: many including Feeling Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy By David D. Burns, M.D
Hope, Help, and Healing for Eating Disorders: A New Approach to Treating Anorexia, Bulimia, and Overeating by Dr. Gregory L. Jantz and Ann Mcmurray
Dr Kaiser Charlottetown
EAP phone counselor
Paul Leger Counselor
Dr Kate Weaver Fredericton
Writing in a journal, multiple variations
Mental safe word
Cutting, scratching, picking
Nothing helps. I am tired and frustrated. I only have $1000 in my health plan for counseling and I don’t want to spend it trying the same ineffective things over again. I know I am a difficult patient and before I continue I would like to know if you have any more effective tools, skills or recommendations. I need a medication stronger then the urge to drive my car into the river. A tool stronger then the urge to binge and purge. A sleeping aid that is better than a bottle of liquor. I need medicine that is going to make great changes, not infinitesimal ones. I can’t keep living like this, can you help me, or know someone else who can?